Our household is in high gear this week. We have done some back to school shopping (mostly the college kids), washed some windows, hung curtains, put up with some Hanna behavior, and more.
The weekend does not get any calmer.
Karre is heading up north to spend the weekend with two of her friends at one their grandparents cabin. They have done this before and had a blast. The grandma enjoys entertaining the teenagers and cooking for them (as Karre puts it) some rather interesting meals. They will read, as they are all readers, talk, swim, and mostly giggle. The age of pure carefree days.
Some of us are moving most of Jared`s stuff up to Duluth where he has been very lucky to find a paid internship. Most of his friends are working for free. Before we leave we need to go to the church garage sale and look for some kitchen chairs so that he will have some place to plant his behind at the end of a long days work. This is the kid who has purchased more then four hundred movies, and nearly a hundred video games. I think that he should have saved a little of that money for the things that he needs now. if he can`t afford the chairs then I guess he will have to use the floor. Maybe moving out will teach him something about real life.
Rene` is staying home with the less then helpful crowd. I have no idea what she has planned but I am sure that she can handle it.
One more exciting thing is that Mike, (Kari`s husband) is going to work on our floors. He is the carpet man and we will stay out of the way and let him do his thing.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Twelve Today
Here is Hanna with her favorite princess Cinderella. I have no idea why she likes this princess better then the others other than she likes to watch the movie whenever she can.
Today is Hanna`s 12th birthday. With her behavior being so crazy lately we are keeping this celebration very low key.
Hanna has been our "little girl" for more then four years now. That is what her Dad calls her because she is the youngest of the girls. Hanna has no interest in being the little girl. It has been a journey of extreme ups and downs with Hanna in our family. She came as the little girl who loved to laugh, run, play, get into everything and try everything. She has these gorgeous brown eyes that just light up when she is really happy and the most original giggle too. She has energy to burn at all times. She loves to draw, paint, color, and make things with foam art. Most of the time she makes the same things over and over again, and that is okay as long as she is happy doing it. Now that she has gotten older there is far to much emotional stuff to deal with. It is really difficult to help her deal with the trauma, chaos, and abuse that she endured in her early years. She has lived a life that no child ever deserves to live. I am not sure how or when she will come to terms with all of this. As her Mom I just hope that some day she can be at peace with it. I want her to be happy with who she is. I want her to learn that there are people in the world who are there to help her and take care of her. I hope that she can some how understand that she is worth all the trouble that we have gone through as a family for her. More then anything else I hope that she can come to understand that she is so VERY LOVED.
Today I with you the happiest of birthdays Hanna. You will always be our little girl !!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The Stuff Factor
It is a control thing, a you can`t make me thing, I can do whatever I want to thing, or a I`ll get you thing when kids who are raging, having meltdowns, tantrums (whatever you want to call it) destroy stuff.
Hanna has destroyed her toys, Her older sisters gave her their Barbie collections when they out grew them. There must have been fifty dolls there along with clothes, cars, and other stuff. She now has two Barbies who have no heads and one is missing an arm as well. They still have a few clothes but they never wear them. All of the children`s books are missing so many pages that it is difficult to follow the story. The puzzles have several pieces missing as well.
Hanna has destroyed her new room as well. She has kicked a hole in the wall and then she just keeps picking at it and it gets bigger and bigger every day. She is peeling the paint off the furniture. and has torn the drapes.
Hanna drills holes in her clothes, pulls the buttons off them and chews on them.
Hanna has destroyed many things that belong to others as well.
We have locked everything that we can up, She is not allowed in anyone`s room without someone watching her. She says that she does not care if she ruins her stuff or her room. She does not care if there is nothing to play with because it is not fun anyway. She doesn`t think
that she needs anybody to help her, she can take care of herself. This is a kid who needs help the determine what foot to put her shoes on (she does not care if they are on wrong). This is a kid that thinks that everyday of the week is Tuesday, This is a kid who is unable to shower herself. (She would never take a shower if she were on her own) She would not change her clothes or even bother to put on underclothes. They are things that she did not have and does not think she needs them.
I understand her need to vent given the chaos, neglect, and physical abuse from her past as well as her lack of poor judgement and impulse control caused by her FAS. We just have to figure out a way for her to do things in another way. Trying to keep us from caring for her and being "tuff girl" is not working for her or the rest of us for that matter. She can be a very sweet little girl at times so I see the potential there.
As far as the stuff goes she just is not getting her room fixed ( no matter how bad it looks), until she can calm down a lot. She is not getting new toys, books, games, etc either and there is no point to replacing them. The main problem with this is that she now seems to have nothing to do so she gets into more trouble and the cycle keeps on going. She keeps trying to hurt everyone around her but in reality she is only hurting herself and she can not figure it out. Try to explain the complex feelings a person like her has to a kid that thinks in a very concrete manner. It is like talking to the wall because that is about where your words are going. She does not understand what feelings are. so it does not bother her that she is hurting herself and she might be hurting others along the way as well. Feelings are abstract and she just does not understand these things at all.
Hanna has destroyed her toys, Her older sisters gave her their Barbie collections when they out grew them. There must have been fifty dolls there along with clothes, cars, and other stuff. She now has two Barbies who have no heads and one is missing an arm as well. They still have a few clothes but they never wear them. All of the children`s books are missing so many pages that it is difficult to follow the story. The puzzles have several pieces missing as well.
Hanna has destroyed her new room as well. She has kicked a hole in the wall and then she just keeps picking at it and it gets bigger and bigger every day. She is peeling the paint off the furniture. and has torn the drapes.
Hanna drills holes in her clothes, pulls the buttons off them and chews on them.
Hanna has destroyed many things that belong to others as well.
We have locked everything that we can up, She is not allowed in anyone`s room without someone watching her. She says that she does not care if she ruins her stuff or her room. She does not care if there is nothing to play with because it is not fun anyway. She doesn`t think
that she needs anybody to help her, she can take care of herself. This is a kid who needs help the determine what foot to put her shoes on (she does not care if they are on wrong). This is a kid that thinks that everyday of the week is Tuesday, This is a kid who is unable to shower herself. (She would never take a shower if she were on her own) She would not change her clothes or even bother to put on underclothes. They are things that she did not have and does not think she needs them.
I understand her need to vent given the chaos, neglect, and physical abuse from her past as well as her lack of poor judgement and impulse control caused by her FAS. We just have to figure out a way for her to do things in another way. Trying to keep us from caring for her and being "tuff girl" is not working for her or the rest of us for that matter. She can be a very sweet little girl at times so I see the potential there.
As far as the stuff goes she just is not getting her room fixed ( no matter how bad it looks), until she can calm down a lot. She is not getting new toys, books, games, etc either and there is no point to replacing them. The main problem with this is that she now seems to have nothing to do so she gets into more trouble and the cycle keeps on going. She keeps trying to hurt everyone around her but in reality she is only hurting herself and she can not figure it out. Try to explain the complex feelings a person like her has to a kid that thinks in a very concrete manner. It is like talking to the wall because that is about where your words are going. She does not understand what feelings are. so it does not bother her that she is hurting herself and she might be hurting others along the way as well. Feelings are abstract and she just does not understand these things at all.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Singing In The Kitchen
Hanna is up the her usual "I am not going to cooperate no matter what" behavior this morning. We have been having her remain in the dinning room so that some one is always able to keep track of what she is doing. That is a Central location with someone there almost all of the time. If we let her go else where then she is pulling the hair out of her head, making holes in the wall, tearing her clothes apart, picking at her skin until it bleeds, or some other crazy thing. Having her destroy herself and anything that is around her is getting really old.
So this morning she is sitting there on the chair singing. SHE CAN NOT SING, it sounds like some sick animal that is in complete misery. Allen is also singing and he is no better. He is copying her just to make her go nuts and it is working very well. I am not sure how long I can listen to this nonsense. I think I will go hang laundry on the line and let someone else enjoy the tunes for a while.
So this morning she is sitting there on the chair singing. SHE CAN NOT SING, it sounds like some sick animal that is in complete misery. Allen is also singing and he is no better. He is copying her just to make her go nuts and it is working very well. I am not sure how long I can listen to this nonsense. I think I will go hang laundry on the line and let someone else enjoy the tunes for a while.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Went To The Lake
Lauren at the flower garden that we checked out.
Karre found some new friends. " Oh they are so cute" (in her opinion)
Allen`s idea of swimming is on the sand.
Paul and his cousin Nicole played with the trucks for a long time.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Pete
Hanna was telling me that she is going to tell her grandma that she does not want to go swimming because she does not want to get water in her mouth. She loves to swim and would drink the whole lake if she were given the opportunity to do so. She can not swim because she has bad ears and she has been in so much trouble.
I said "Hanna, if I sent money to school with you for a party day and Pete stole your money then you would be sad and if you came and told me about it then I would not believe you because you make up stories that are not true all the time".
Hanna replied "who is Pete, I don`t know anyone named Pete"?
Learning opportunity went way over the head as she is still trying to figure out who Pete is. That is FAS for you.
I said "Hanna, if I sent money to school with you for a party day and Pete stole your money then you would be sad and if you came and told me about it then I would not believe you because you make up stories that are not true all the time".
Hanna replied "who is Pete, I don`t know anyone named Pete"?
Learning opportunity went way over the head as she is still trying to figure out who Pete is. That is FAS for you.
Its All Gotta Happen Today
God blessed me with a brain that can organize everything that needs to be done. I am then able to delegate the duties so that everything gets done. Oh, I do have a planner and do write things down there but that is mainly for other people to use as needed.
Today:
A PCA will take Paul to occupational and speech therapy, then keep his busy little body out of trouble for the rest of the day.
A PCA will take Allen grocery shopping to get all of the things we will need for the weekend as we are going out of town for a couple of days.
A PCA will watch Hanna to make sure that she does not do anything stupid, as she is really acting awful, awful, AWFUL lately.
A PCA and I will take Lauren to a physical therapy evaluation this afternoon and she does not enjoy this at all.
After that I need to get clothes and food organized for the weekend.
By the time all of that is done hopefully everyone will be ready to sit down to dinner (if Hanna gets her act together long enough) and then kids will go to bed so that I can crash myself.
That is all that I have rattling around in my brain this morning. Hopefully nothing else comes up that needs to be dealt with urgently.
Today:
A PCA will take Paul to occupational and speech therapy, then keep his busy little body out of trouble for the rest of the day.
A PCA will take Allen grocery shopping to get all of the things we will need for the weekend as we are going out of town for a couple of days.
A PCA will watch Hanna to make sure that she does not do anything stupid, as she is really acting awful, awful, AWFUL lately.
A PCA and I will take Lauren to a physical therapy evaluation this afternoon and she does not enjoy this at all.
After that I need to get clothes and food organized for the weekend.
By the time all of that is done hopefully everyone will be ready to sit down to dinner (if Hanna gets her act together long enough) and then kids will go to bed so that I can crash myself.
That is all that I have rattling around in my brain this morning. Hopefully nothing else comes up that needs to be dealt with urgently.
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