There is no school and will be none until Monday. That is supposed to be a break. The first kid was up at 4:00am and they trickled out of bed so that by 6:30am they were all dressed, had eaten, made there beds, and now they can not find anything to do.
The normal, average teenager who can get up unsupervised at what ever time they want to is a treasure around here. Jared and Karre are still in bed. I can not imagine how anyone could possibly be sleeping with all of the noise around here. I guess they just fake it so they do not have to watch kids.
Rene` called at 7:30 this morning to say "hi" while she was walking across campus to her first class. She said that she is going to have to dig out her long johns soon, yes it gets cold enough in North Dakota that even young people who want to look cool will put on long johns. Rene` has some fancy striped ones.
While the kids are having their break from school I guess I will be taking a break from getting anything done around here. When I get some PCA help here later I will have to shut to office door and do some paperwork that must get done this week.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Monday Snow
It is snowing at a pretty good clip here. It is way to early for this to be starting already. There is a winter storm warning out so I guess I had better keep the radio on just in case they call school off. The kids are there now and I am crossing my fingers that things stay that way. Lauren and Hanna were having trouble finding gloves and mittens this morning so I will likely have to stock up on those things as well. Hanna loses many, many pair of gloves and lots of hats every cold season. After a while I just send her with things that do not match because I just can not afford to buy any more of them. She does not care if they match anyway, the more crazy she is dressed the happier she is.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It Has Been To Calm For Comfort
Hanna is someone who just loves chaos even though it overloads her and gets her into trouble. With just Paul and I home with her this weekend it has been pretty quiet except for the usual racket that Paul makes just being himself. I guess that she just can not stand having that kink of quiet so she had to go crazy. She started off by throwing toys at the wall down in the therapy/play room. When I told her to knock it off she threw a block and hit Paul in the head. That is just super wonderful as he has school pictures tomorrow and besides the pictures I will have to explain the beautiful square bruise on his forehead to the school before they get worried. Now she has thrown everything off the shelves so it is all piled in a heap in the middle of the floor. I guess this is one way to get everything cleaned up and put back into its proper location. I have informed Hanna that when she calms down she will be cleaning the mess up. She said " I never am going to calm down cause I do not like it".
BIG SIGH!
BIG SIGH!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Chilly Saturday
It is down right chilly here today and surprisingly the snow that fell over night is still hanging around.
Dad, Jared, Karre, and Allen took there muscles to Duluth to move Jared`s stuff back to our garage. He is now finished with school altogether and looking at his options. In the mean time he is working as a PCA here. I can always use big, strong guys around here to haul stubborn kids, chase after the very busy one, and keep a watch out for crazy behavior.
Lauren is out with a PCA in tow. She has been really doing some dumb stuff lately. I think most of it is that she is just being a teenager but all the same it is dumb. She does not do her chores, make her bed, or do her school work without being directly ordered to do so or being threatened with losing something or other. She always says she will get to it tomorrow, needless to say tomorrow never comes so she never gets things done. If we tell her that she will not get her allowance she says she does not care because she has enough money. I am glad she is out of here for a few hours as it gives me time to not have to deal with her right now.
I have Paul and Hanna home with me. Hanna is playing Uno by herself. She does not want anyone to play with her. I think she is most likely being obsessive and sorting the cards. I do not care at this point as she is not bothering anyone. We still have some of her clothes to get washed and folded from her rainbow mess making. Paul is, as usual just being a tornado, dragging things out, opening and shutting the fridge, and generally getting on my nerves at the moment.
I think I will make some pizza for dinner soon, clean the kids up, and get them ready for bed and then Hanna a I will watch a movie, okay Hanna will watch the movie and I will be chasing the tornado.
Dad, Jared, Karre, and Allen took there muscles to Duluth to move Jared`s stuff back to our garage. He is now finished with school altogether and looking at his options. In the mean time he is working as a PCA here. I can always use big, strong guys around here to haul stubborn kids, chase after the very busy one, and keep a watch out for crazy behavior.
Lauren is out with a PCA in tow. She has been really doing some dumb stuff lately. I think most of it is that she is just being a teenager but all the same it is dumb. She does not do her chores, make her bed, or do her school work without being directly ordered to do so or being threatened with losing something or other. She always says she will get to it tomorrow, needless to say tomorrow never comes so she never gets things done. If we tell her that she will not get her allowance she says she does not care because she has enough money. I am glad she is out of here for a few hours as it gives me time to not have to deal with her right now.
I have Paul and Hanna home with me. Hanna is playing Uno by herself. She does not want anyone to play with her. I think she is most likely being obsessive and sorting the cards. I do not care at this point as she is not bothering anyone. We still have some of her clothes to get washed and folded from her rainbow mess making. Paul is, as usual just being a tornado, dragging things out, opening and shutting the fridge, and generally getting on my nerves at the moment.
I think I will make some pizza for dinner soon, clean the kids up, and get them ready for bed and then Hanna a I will watch a movie, okay Hanna will watch the movie and I will be chasing the tornado.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Technology Choice Made
We have finally made a choice for a communication device for Lauren. This has been a long process which began way back in May. We have been looking at many different types of devices. The technology out there is amazing. The issue here is that the more technical the device is the smaller it tends to be and therefore more fine motor skills are needed to operate it. People like Lauren who have cerebral palsy have hands and fingers which do not exactly do what their brains are telling them to do. She has been frustrated with this trial process. She really wants the devices that are small and look cool (she is a teenager after all), but they are in general not the best ones for her.
We finally found one that has the communication program that works best for her. It also can be used as a computer with wireless access, has an MP3 player, a camera, speech read out of whatever is on the screen, text messaging, a cell phone set up and it can be personalized with all sorts of programming. It is not the smallest device out there and in her eyes not the coolest. The best thing about it is that she is able to get her fingers to do what they need to do to operate it independently.
We have begun the massive amount of paperwork that is needed to get insurance to pay for at least part of the cost. We have been documenting everything at home, at therapy, and at school for months so now that information has to be compiled in a format that is clear, gets all of the points across, and is as brief a possible.
After that we sit and wait, and wait, and wait, for a reply, and then when they turn the package down be prepared to appeal.
We finally found one that has the communication program that works best for her. It also can be used as a computer with wireless access, has an MP3 player, a camera, speech read out of whatever is on the screen, text messaging, a cell phone set up and it can be personalized with all sorts of programming. It is not the smallest device out there and in her eyes not the coolest. The best thing about it is that she is able to get her fingers to do what they need to do to operate it independently.
We have begun the massive amount of paperwork that is needed to get insurance to pay for at least part of the cost. We have been documenting everything at home, at therapy, and at school for months so now that information has to be compiled in a format that is clear, gets all of the points across, and is as brief a possible.
After that we sit and wait, and wait, and wait, for a reply, and then when they turn the package down be prepared to appeal.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Seeing Rainbows
I cleared out the mountain of laundry, every last dirty sock is off the floor, they are all washed, dried, folded, in the baskets to be put away, and I even mopped the floor in there. This is all really great, every one has clean clothes to put away and there should be no hassle of anyone needing something clean for a few days. There is one problem here though, Hanna`s basket is completely empty except for the two toys that I had picked up and one clean t-shirt.
I knew something was up and I knew that I needed to go into her room to check it out. I put it off for a while and did several other things that I wanted done and then I went up there. What I found is gross and disgusting to say the least. She had returned the dirty clothes to her drawers and closet and put them in with the clean ones. They were not in a separate place or anything. She has created rainbows with them. The underwear are all neatly folded and in order pink, peach, lemon yellow,etc. etc. The pajamas are rolled up into balls, softball size with the pants on the outside tied in a knot to secure the bundles, they to are arranged yellow, green, blue.... In the closet everything is lined up short to long red, orange, yellow, etc. She even switched out the hangers so that they are in color order.
I asked her what the heck she was doing here and she told me all about rainbows, One of our PCAs had taught her that rainbows were always in order and being the obsessive person she is, she found this concept very exciting and just could not keep from obsessing with it. Thanks, Angie. Now why can she keep this bit of not so useful information in that head of hers and other more useful stuff just slides right back out, I just do not understand?
Lately she has been telling us that she can not change her underwear because she will mess up her pattern, well now I know all about the pattern. Getting her to change her clothes is a hassle as it is. Getting her to wear underclothes, and pajamas is beyond a hassle. She did not have underwear, socks, or pajamas until she came here.
I do not mind that she is into the rainbow thing at all. Fold the clothes all you want to kid, but DO NOT put the dirty ones back in with the clean ones. Grass stained pants and smelly t-Shirts are one thing, but I draw the line with the smelly socks, and dirty underwear in there.
I had to empty everything out and now I have more then one rainbow to sort through trying to clean up this mess. I will not be folding and hanging all of these clothes up, my lovely helper Hanna will get to do that. I am sure she will have fun making some more rainbows.
I knew something was up and I knew that I needed to go into her room to check it out. I put it off for a while and did several other things that I wanted done and then I went up there. What I found is gross and disgusting to say the least. She had returned the dirty clothes to her drawers and closet and put them in with the clean ones. They were not in a separate place or anything. She has created rainbows with them. The underwear are all neatly folded and in order pink, peach, lemon yellow,etc. etc. The pajamas are rolled up into balls, softball size with the pants on the outside tied in a knot to secure the bundles, they to are arranged yellow, green, blue.... In the closet everything is lined up short to long red, orange, yellow, etc. She even switched out the hangers so that they are in color order.
I asked her what the heck she was doing here and she told me all about rainbows, One of our PCAs had taught her that rainbows were always in order and being the obsessive person she is, she found this concept very exciting and just could not keep from obsessing with it. Thanks, Angie. Now why can she keep this bit of not so useful information in that head of hers and other more useful stuff just slides right back out, I just do not understand?
Lately she has been telling us that she can not change her underwear because she will mess up her pattern, well now I know all about the pattern. Getting her to change her clothes is a hassle as it is. Getting her to wear underclothes, and pajamas is beyond a hassle. She did not have underwear, socks, or pajamas until she came here.
I do not mind that she is into the rainbow thing at all. Fold the clothes all you want to kid, but DO NOT put the dirty ones back in with the clean ones. Grass stained pants and smelly t-Shirts are one thing, but I draw the line with the smelly socks, and dirty underwear in there.
I had to empty everything out and now I have more then one rainbow to sort through trying to clean up this mess. I will not be folding and hanging all of these clothes up, my lovely helper Hanna will get to do that. I am sure she will have fun making some more rainbows.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Learning From The Kids
Imagine you are a little girl who has been living with a foster family for almost a year when suddenly you are being moved to another home. You are confused, scared, and you have been abandoned once again. The next thing you know you are being bussed every day to a school for children who are deaf. You have short and long term memory lose so while they are working really really hard to teach you to communicate by signing and learning to read you can not learn these things. You can not remember the things that you had known the day before, you just can not understand this place. They are all thinking that you are not trying hard enough, but besides the fact that you can not remember things you are not intelligent enough to figure out the complex concepts that they are trying to teach you.They are moving way to fast for you to learn. You get really frustrated and angry with yourself and everyone around you. You do not care any more and you just shut down. Imagine this happening to you even though you are not deaf nor do you have any hearing problems at all. It happened because you were unable to speak and far beyond the age when you should have begun speaking. By this time you should be able to converse fluently. This happened to our Little girl. She should never have had to experience all of the trauma brought about here and she would not have if only people would communicate.
The foster parents who first had her had been begging for an FAS assessment as well as intelligence testing. They did not feel this child was deaf, therefore they wanted nothing to do with this school placement for her. No one who could listen to them would. They asked that this child be placed else where.
The birth parents were so wrapped up in their addictions that they could not deal with what was happening to their child.
The "system" was is a state of chaos and they were changing workers for this child so often that no one ever got to know her well enough to figure out what was going on. She had workers who were making decisions for her who had never even met her. There were to many of them to keep track of.
The first foster parents here were correct, there was plenty of evidence that clearly showed that this child had FAS. She had the facial features. She had jaw and palette deformities which would make it difficult for her to learn to speak. (It still amazes me that she speaks as well as she does given these issues). There were police reports which clearly indicated that this mom had been arrested for DWI twice during the time she was pregnant with this child. You do not drink two times during a pregnancy and happen to get arrested both times as the mom reported to the "system". There was a lot more alcohol consumption then that going on here.The people who work in the "system" are supposed to be educated, intelligent people who are supposed to being seeking whatever it is that would be in the child's best interest. They need to be listening to the foster parents, after all the kid is living in their home 24-7, they probably know her pretty well. The "system" also needs to understand that these kids are in need of protective services because there parents are addicted and these addictions are in large portion what results in domestic violence,poverty, physical abuse and neglect that these kids face. The "system" also needs to understand that these people who are in such a state of crisis that they are being court ordered into treatment programs are not going to be fully honest with them about their addictions. This is going to occur if they are willingly seeking help and are ready to admit that they have an addiction problem.
Why did I choose to tell the world about what happened here, because it happens all to often and I believe that if every one would step back and look at what is happening to Americas most vulnerable kids then maybe, just maybe these kids can teach us all how to be better at helping some other kids in the future. The "system" here really needs to get its act together and they need to figure out a way to get people working for the kids, they need to be consistent,they need to get these kids diagnosed when a diagnosis is warranted (stop hiding under a rock and admit that these kids have FAS, RAD, ADHD,ODD, and all the rest) and they need to listen to what the foster parents are telling them. Foster parents are not asking to get these kids diagnosed with disorders just for the fun of it, they are doing it in order to help the kids to live better lives, they are trying to give them a fighting chance in this world.
If everyone involved here would just take the time to communicate there would be a little less hurt in this world. Is anyone out there hearing this or is everyone deaf?
The foster parents who first had her had been begging for an FAS assessment as well as intelligence testing. They did not feel this child was deaf, therefore they wanted nothing to do with this school placement for her. No one who could listen to them would. They asked that this child be placed else where.
The birth parents were so wrapped up in their addictions that they could not deal with what was happening to their child.
The "system" was is a state of chaos and they were changing workers for this child so often that no one ever got to know her well enough to figure out what was going on. She had workers who were making decisions for her who had never even met her. There were to many of them to keep track of.
The first foster parents here were correct, there was plenty of evidence that clearly showed that this child had FAS. She had the facial features. She had jaw and palette deformities which would make it difficult for her to learn to speak. (It still amazes me that she speaks as well as she does given these issues). There were police reports which clearly indicated that this mom had been arrested for DWI twice during the time she was pregnant with this child. You do not drink two times during a pregnancy and happen to get arrested both times as the mom reported to the "system". There was a lot more alcohol consumption then that going on here.The people who work in the "system" are supposed to be educated, intelligent people who are supposed to being seeking whatever it is that would be in the child's best interest. They need to be listening to the foster parents, after all the kid is living in their home 24-7, they probably know her pretty well. The "system" also needs to understand that these kids are in need of protective services because there parents are addicted and these addictions are in large portion what results in domestic violence,poverty, physical abuse and neglect that these kids face. The "system" also needs to understand that these people who are in such a state of crisis that they are being court ordered into treatment programs are not going to be fully honest with them about their addictions. This is going to occur if they are willingly seeking help and are ready to admit that they have an addiction problem.
Why did I choose to tell the world about what happened here, because it happens all to often and I believe that if every one would step back and look at what is happening to Americas most vulnerable kids then maybe, just maybe these kids can teach us all how to be better at helping some other kids in the future. The "system" here really needs to get its act together and they need to figure out a way to get people working for the kids, they need to be consistent,they need to get these kids diagnosed when a diagnosis is warranted (stop hiding under a rock and admit that these kids have FAS, RAD, ADHD,ODD, and all the rest) and they need to listen to what the foster parents are telling them. Foster parents are not asking to get these kids diagnosed with disorders just for the fun of it, they are doing it in order to help the kids to live better lives, they are trying to give them a fighting chance in this world.
If everyone involved here would just take the time to communicate there would be a little less hurt in this world. Is anyone out there hearing this or is everyone deaf?
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