Good Havernoon

I got a call from Paul`s school yesterday telling me that he is poking his friends in line and being disruptive, no kidding, they are finally figuring this out! Paul did quite well in the preschool setting where there are three adults and eight kids in the class. He can handle this, but now he is in a regular kindergarten class and he is not able to cope. I had requested a new IEP last spring and we had agreed that he needed to be re-evaluated since much has changed with him. That evaluation has not even been started yet. I need a functioning IEP in place as soon as possible so now I work with people who are going to drag this out as long as possible. Why is it that as a parent of a kid with disabilities you have to go completely nuts before things get done? I do not know what kind of reinforcements I am going to have to call in to get this done right, but I will do whatever it takes to get it done now.

I told Paul that his teacher called and he said "did you tell her good havernoon"?

He missed the point that she was trying to make. She is trying to tell him that I will not be happy if she calls me. I do not care one way or another if she calls me. It is not going to change his behavior because he can not think things out like that and then follow through.

After I got done dealing with Paul I had to take Hanna to the clinic for two shots. She ran ahead and though she was going to hide out in the bathroom so she would not have to get the shots. We decided that rather that fight with her kicking and screaming she was getting her shots in the bathroom. Now this is a bit out of the ordinary , but it takes three clinic staff to deal with this every time. I can not tell her ahead of time what we are doing and bribe her because I have already experienced her trying to get out of the car while we are driving and I do not want to do that again. Hanna my girl, you cause me to shake my head is amazement at the things you will do.

I don`t know if it was a good havernoon, but I can say that it sure was full of drama.

Pumpkins

We went to get pumpkins over the weekend. It was really warm out there. I don`t recall the last time we did this and could let the kids wear shorts, maybe never. Paul checked lots and lots of pumpkins out, but in the end he decided that he wanted one that he could carry all by himself, which is fine because that means there will be fewer seeds to remove later. Hanna did not really want to spend her allowance on a pumpkin she was pouting as usual. " I`ll get one only if I have too". We told her she did not have to get one but she did anyway. It was like we were forcing her to do something that might be fun.

After we got the pumpkins and ran a lot of other errands Dad decided that he was taking everyone out for pizza. Hanna did not want to do that either. There are not many thirteen year old kids who pout when they get to go out for pizza. She was not being appropriate in the restaurant so she and I had to leave.

This is exactly why we do not take her with us when we do family things very often. This time we had decided to go at the last minute and all of our available PCAs were with us so we did not have much of a choice in the matter.We are also really watching the number of hours we use for her care because we are going to run out of them. Having to schedule everything makes life a bit to complicated at times.

Pudding

Today was the last of the homecoming week stuff. Karre went to work on her senior project, then to the football game. and dance. She is a senior so enjoy all of it one last time.

They played Bingo in one of Hanna`s classes today and she won pudding. Her teacher made sure she knew that the fact that she had won was being written in her take home folder. She did not need to eat it at school as they already had another treat. The teacher called me as she often does to make sure we know what is going on in school. We had talked about the pudding coming home. Dad got home from work a few minutes before the kids did and when I told him that Hanna was supposed to be bringing the pudding home he just chuckled with some sarcasm added for good measure.

The pudding DID make it home technically speaking. Hanna ate it in the garage before she came in the house. She did not have a spoon so she used her finger and then licked the container spotless. When I asked her about the pudding she simply said that she did follow the rules and brought it home, but it was hers and she was going to make sure she got to eat it.

Have I ever mentioned that this kid has just a few food issues?

Round And Round

Hanna started the week out with some all out crazy behavior on Monday and things have just been going round and round, really not getting any where since then.

I spent Tuesday with Hanna getting her back on track so that she could function in the world again. She does not have a clue as to how her behavior messes with everyone around her. I don`t think she even cares either, which does not help matters. Late in the afternoon her DD worker came and she and I just are not on the same page at all as far as what as what is needed and is going to work. I will need to keep working on her to get this right for Hanna and the rest of our family.

I spent Wednesday at the courthouse (jury duty). Some old guy was to busy picking corn and did not show up so he got escorted in by the sheriff. The guy was, lets just say, less then thrilled to be there. If they tell you to show up for jury duty you had better get there unless you like to hang out with the friendly sheriff.

Yesterday I got a lot of paperwork done, oh yeah there is always a lot of that here. I also had a meeting with Lauren`s CADI worker. Everything is moving along as well as it can be there. She gets almost all the service that she needs and a couple of extra things too.

Today it is already Friday and going to be eighty degrees or better for the next couple of days so I had better get things in order here at home so that we can put our shorts and t-shirts on and spend the weekend outside. I don`t have any idea what we will do but it doesn`t matter. When it is this nice in October you have to take advantage of it. The only thing I do not like about this nice weather is the bees are really going crazy and I am allergic to them so I will have to be on the lookout.

The last few days have been well, just there, nothing exciting (unless a kid melting down or an old guy who can`t follow directions are exciting) no great leaps towards progress or anything like that, but then again nothing terrible either, so we are just going round and round.

Oh Goodness!!!

After school yesterday was one interesting affair. Sitting in our dinning room were a court appointed guardian and a court appointed attorney for Hanna. They had met the adorable, sweet,cute kid with the gorgeous big brown eyes last week. Well this week they got to meet the Hanna in all out melt down form. They got quite the show. I think both of them were pretty shocked as what they were witnessing. I do not mind when the rest of the world sees whet we live with here, maybe it will open some eyes and eventually get help where it is needed.

She came off the bus into the house throwing backpack, shoes, and lunchbox. she was crying and screaming and just plain being crazy. This was all because she had done something at school and she knew she was not supposed to be doing it and because there was a special event that had taken place and she could not handle that either. This chaos lasted until about 10:30 last night. Then everyone fell asleep exhausted.

Today we are regrouping so we can get back on track.

Purple Day

Today it is purple day, at least for the seventh graders in our school. The simple matter of wearing purple in order to be identified as a member of this class has been a big ordeal for Hanna.

They had talked about this event and others that will take place this week during homecoming, in the classroom last week when it was still September. Hanna had been told that purple day would take place when it was October.

When Hanna got up the next morning I heard her ask Lauren if it was October and she had told her it was, so Hanna comes downstairs for breakfast wearing purple flowered shorts and a purple striped t-shirt. She also had purple socks stuffed in her pocket. We had to explain to her that yes, it was October, but there are many days in the month and it was not the right day for the purple event. She had to scream for awhile and throw a couple of shoes before she managed to go put something else on.

While I was gone this weekend they got to do this same routine everyday. Thank goodness today it was finally purple day. Now we can move on to the next what ever day it will be.

Retreat Weekend

It was a great weekend!! I got to spend some time away at a retreat for adoptive moms. I connected with some moms whom I had known for a long time and I met some new moms too. We stayed at a beautiful camp bursting with all the beauty of the fall colors. We talked and learned about some difficult issues that come with raising kids who have experienced trauma and we had some fun too.

I came away with the feeling that we are doing what is right for our family even though it may not be easy. The other thing that I heard, and I know that I had heard this before, but had forgotten is that the child`s trauma and issues are theirs and as a parent I can not own that trauma for them. They need to learn to deal with it in their own way at their own pace. Now that is all good, but I sure wish they could pick up the pace and move on to things that are more healthy and productive.

I came home to kids who were excited to see me, a reasonably orderly home, and dinner ready to be served. I don`t think I could ask for anything more then that.