Yesterday Hanna`s behavior chart from school showed that she had left a mess in the bathroom sink. (Hanna is not exactly a neat freak when it comes to brushing her teeth). One of the boys had reported to the teacher that she had left the mess there. Now Hanna is angry with the kid because as she puts it "he is a tattle tale".
Well I suspect that he nor anyone else wanted to take responsibility for a mess Hanna had made so he told. I do agree that he did tattle, but there are times when it is appropriate to tell and then there are those times when one should not be doing so. The trouble is Hanna does not understand the difference and trying to explain it is getting absolutely no where with her.
She is just plain mad at the kid so I had to send a note to school today to warn them to be on the lookout for revenge Hanna style. She told us several times that she will get him back on Tuesday. (every day in Hanna`s world is Tuesday). I just hope she does not do anything to stupid.
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when I hit mental road blocks like this with AB and Sissy, I usually have to teach them the thought/phrase. If this was Sissy (who thinks EVERYONE ON THE PLANET lives to tattle on her) i would say:
ReplyDelete"No. Sissy. This is the truth. Say it after me. I made a mess in the bathroom. I am mad at myself. I don't want to get in trouble."
then I'd make her repeat it so she says it a total of 3 times outloud. The first time she usually gets mad but I just repeat the phrase which starts with, "No."
It takes practice. I have to have an emotionless face, tone and body language. She has to know it is safe to say these phrases, that she won't face a consequence. (my rule is school behaviors get school consequences with the exception of failing grades).
It helps. Because Katherine leslie says it in the first chapter of one of her books, that our RADlings don't know how to act, what to say, etc. It empowers them to put the words in their heads and in their mouths.
Usually, when I am able to successfully get through these with Sissy or AB, they give some indication that I've hit the nail on the head for them emotionally and they walk free from the anxiety of it. Sometimes I might even get a hug or a smile!
FYI - this is successful 75% of the time. Well worth the 25% failure rate (which usually means a rage)
I hope so, too. Prayers and Hugs.
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