If You Give Your Hanna An Oatmeal Bar...

If you give your Hanna an oatmeal bar...

She will take it to school.

She will cook it in the microwave for ten minutes.

It will send smoke all over the cafeteria.

That will set off the fire alarm system. (Imagine what about 1,100 teenagers do when that happens).

She will clean up her mess only because someone is supervising while she does it.

She will return to the classroom where she begins to lose it.

She will be sticking her fingers in her ears so she will not hear the teacher and Mom talking on speaker phone (we do this because she thinks that we make this stuff up to be mean to her), about what had happened.

She will be crying, singing, stomping around, and talking to herself.

She will be very mad at her teacher.

She will wrap herself around the toilet so no one can get her to leave the bathroom.

She will then be escorted out of the building by the police officer.

She will be hauled home by her sister and teacher.

She will then make it to her room throwing her boots, cap, mittens, backpack, and coat off along the way, in record time, without even being told to go there.

She will spend the next four hours in her room having one heck of a melt down, kicking the wall, pounding on the door, screaming, dumping her closet and dresser and stripping both of the beds in the room.

She finally calms down enough to tell us that she had a little bit of a bad day and she is never, never going back to school, not for one hundred minutes.