I was up at 3:30 this morning and it was not because I had to deal with Hanna. It was a surgery day for Lauren. This is now part of the routine for her. I get up get showered and dressed, grab a glass of orange juice, and a banana to consume. At 4:00 I get Lauren up showered, dressed, and out the door, no food or drinks allowed. That is a hard one to explain to her because she just does not understand. Jared was my assistant this morning as I need someone who can help me with the lifting involved throughout the day. We headed north on the mostly deserted highway in order to arrive at Gillette Children's Hospital by 6:00. Lauren was prepped and in the operating room by 7:30. She was having Phenol and Botox injections done and some other stuff to help reduce the tightness in her lower limbs. We have been doing this routine for nine years now, sometimes it is a lengthy surgery, casts, Bradley Bars, to hold her legs straight, hospital stays, and therapy, and sometime we get in and out all on the same day, such is the situation today.
Then comes the waiting game. I waited with the dad of another girl who was having the same type of procedures done today. In fact Lauren and Jenna have been doing this routine together for several years now. The hospital is willing to schedule this way for them. Jenna is a beautiful young lady eleven months older the Lauren. She has very similar issues as Lauren does. The difference being that Lauren`s are caused by a non-accidental traumatic brain injury and Jenna`s are a result of a stroke that she had before her birth. Anyway the two girls have become friends and they look forward to seeing each other at the hospital, and therapy. Usually Jenna's mom and I catch up during their procedures, but today mom could not be there so I visited with dad.
He commented "Why the heck would anyone throw a seven week old baby at a cement wall? That is just so unthinkable to me".
He is correct of course, for most of us that is something that is just not going to happen, but it does bring up the why question. This is something that I have considered from time to time.
Was it that he was young and not ready to be a father? I do not think so because he was twenty-four years old and he was already the father of another child. (I dread to think what has happened to that kid)
Was it that he was heavily intoxicated? Yes he was, but he chose to consume that alcohol of his own free will and certainly knew the affects of its consumption.
Was it that he was not intelligent enough to understand the consequences of his actions? This is a extremely intelligent well educated person.
How it happened, when, where, and who did it are all questions that are easy to get an answer to, but the why of it is something that there just is no acceptable answer for, None of the excuses given above nor any of the hundred others that have come up for that matter can justify such behavior. There is no just cause for attempting to kill a child, any child so the why question can not be justly answered. Therefore that is one of those issues that has to be let go of. Things are the way they are just because and we move ahead rather then in reverse.
As a side note I left Dad and Angela our PCA in charge at home today and Dad got four medical calls to schedule this and that, and rearrange as well as one behavior call from school He says I can keep this job because he would goes nuts if he had to do it every day. Yes I will send him off to work tomorrow and get back to doing my own work.
Now it is time to get people to bed so I can crash. Its been a long long day.