Saturday, September 5, 2009

Wanna Know What I Learned Today?

Since everyone else is out enjoying this fine day, and since I was the one who would not allow the "big attitude" to go anywhere acting like that, I decided to make use of the time and get something done here at home. I put Hanna on a kitchen chair so that I could keep track of her and make sure that she was not destroying herself or anything else. I then put my i-pod on and cleaned the kitchen cabinets. They needed it. In cleaning I discovered that I do not need to buy any type of crackers for quite some time. People have been stashing them everywhere when they have been putting the groceries away. I assumed that they were being eaten since food disappears rather quickly around here. I buy things in order to make something in particular but more often then not before I go to use the items they have been consumed.

Anyway with my i-pod on and the tunes turned up pretty loud, for my taste, I could hear Hanna screaming at me.

"Dad is dumb cause he took the other kids to the zoo and the zoo is dumb"!

"Mom is dumb because she made me stay home"!

"This whole family is dumb because they want me to live here"!

"The whole world is dumb, dumb, DUMB"!!

She went on and on and on. She also used a couple of other words that her "friends" use that are so not appropriate and she does not even know what they mean anyway.I find it a little weird to be called dumb by someone who has an IQ far lower than normal. In a way she may be right however. Dad may not be to bright taking all of those kids to the zoo. That is a lot of work. I may be dumb for making her stay home as well, just putting up with all this racket is exhausting and certainly I may have had more fun doing something else. As for the whole family there are times that I think she is correct there as well. Nowhere in her file did we read anything about her having Reactive Attachment Disorder or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. We strongly suspected the FAS and were prepared for that. We also knew that she was developmentally disabled and can deal with that as well. I do not think that we were prepared for RAD. Can anyone ever really be prepared for that? The combination of RAD and FAS is something that I would not wish for any family to deal with . This family loves this kid dearly and we have and will continue to do whatever we need to in order to give her the best outcome possible. It is just that the process in getting there is so very difficult and the statistics clearly indicate that the outcomes are not generally very good here which is frustrating. Were we dumb for taking a chance on a kid who no one else wanted?

The answer to that is no. as we strongly believe that all kids deserve to have a family and as a family we have what it takse to be there for kids who have endured more trauma, chaos, and abuse then one could imagine could be possible. For today in Hanna`s world we will all be dumb and maybe tomorrow, or next month, or five years from now things may change and she may view all of this differently. I sure hope so.

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