Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Need A Witty Response

Something happened when I went grocery shopping with my two younger sons. It does not seem to happen here in our community as everyone knows us either as the crazy people who have adopted those even crazier kids or the saints who are taking care of those poor helpless creatures. We are neither and I will address this at a later date. Anyway getting back to the story I had just plopped Paul into the grocery cart as he is still small enough to put there and this helps me to contain his little wiggle butt. Allen our super cart pusher was pushing the cart. A lady came up to me and asked what group home I was working for? Now I know Paul is really active and loud and Allen has all of the classic features of a person who has Down Syndrome, but how does that make them group home residents? I have no problem with group homes there are people who need to reside in them for many different reasons, and some of my kids may be there at some point in their lives. I explained to the lady that Paul has a Traumatic Brain Injury and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Allen Has Down Syndrome (I did not bother to tell her that he also has FAS as that is something that most people can nut quite understand), I also told her that they are my boys. Then she said something about them not looking like brothers. I did not know whether to tell her that I just went around sleeping with all sorts of different guys (my husband who is pretty sarcastic might have done that) or that they were adopted. I told her that they were adopted and none of our four adopted kids looked like one another, they are all individuals.

This is not the first time this has happened to me so I think that I need to come up with some sort of witty reply in response for these people, to wear on a t-shirt or put on a card to hand to them. Just think, I only had the boys with me this time. What if I had had Lauren and Hanna along, too.


  1. Hi Cyndi,

    I am the first person to love a witty response, but I have to say that I think the patient explanation that you did is perfect in these cases. I save the witty for the rude or if I know someone else likes dry humor. These people that are shocked enough to engage us in converstaion in the grocery store are are taking the time to learn about adoptive families and kids with special needs. Who knows what kind of seeds you planted! If you can handle your kids, you can handle these strangers. Kudos.

  2. I've had comments like this too. With our first adoption when Matt was very young in a grocery cart, someone commented on his beautiful dark eyes. She said he must get those from his father. I said I wasn't sure about that because I didn't get a good look! She had asked several invasive questions such as "is he really yours" prior to this so it was time to say something fun and walk away.

  3. I agree - for those who are genuinely interested, it's a great teaching moment. But for those who are rude, how about looking at them with a shocked expression and saying, "What??? But the hospital said they were mine. Do you think they did a switch on me?!?"